Dear Universe,
Just wanted to let you know, I am going crazy here.
If the cosmos would please align and give me one perfect day, I would really appreciate it.
I would like just one day off...
A day without being pregnant or nursing (it's been three-and-a-half years you know)...
A day without being yelled at, screamed at, and bullied by my three little terrorists...
A day without piles of laundry or dirty dishes...
A day without toys to put away and stuff to clean up and organize...
A day without poopy diapers...
A day without cooking...
A day without the kid's horrible t.v. shows...
A day without being stuck in my house...
A day without fighting to get the kids to bed for two hours every night...
A day without worrying about and taking care of everyone else's problems...
A day without feeling guilty about every imperfect thing I do...
A day without being frazzled...
A day of feeling beautiful and relaxed and loved.
I feel like the mommy-robot with steam coming out of her ears... and I need someone to pull the plug. (Quick! Pull it! Before I explode!)
Today after months of running around like a chicken with her head cut off, I flopped on the couch and didn't get up for hours. It felt soooo good. (And don't worry, the kids are still alive.)
Thanks, Universe. Thanks for listening, anyway.
XOXO
Leah
7 comments:
Yeah! Way to sit on the couch! I was thinking the other day, how no woman with little kids can possibly even try to keep her house clean, and then I thought, except Leah. I bet she cleans all the time.
I can watch your kids if you want to go on a cruise or take a spa day or something. Does the little guy take a bottle?
Haha. Thanks, Schmathie. I do clean all the time. It's stupid because it all just gets trashed again the next day... I mean the next hour... I mean the next minute. Are you coming this weekend? I need some cousin time... Oh yeah, and some medication. I need some medication because I think I'm turning bipolar. XOXO
I was there!!! I remember speaking that same prayer. I remember hating mother who said it will get easier... I wanted it easier NOW! I hated hearing enjoy them now they grow fast... If they would grew faster I would enjoy them more...
And then before I knew it, it happened. They grew. They all reached an age I could leave them alone for periods of time. I could expect a certain amount of help, but with it cam an all new set of struggles...
It will get easier in many areas, and harder in others. There will even be days you look back and say I miss those days. (I do when I see your sweet kids play, fight, make me laugh)
I wish I was still in your ward to take them for an hour for you. An older mother did it monthly for me, and it saved my sanity. It gave me a full hour to enjoy a church lesson, talk to adult and participate in a discussion that didn't involve negotiating how many more bites of vegetables before they could watch elmo.
I know I am busy, but I do miss the young kids occasionally, please call, I am not far, and I would love a couple hours break from homework to play with kids while you wander aimlessly in a store, enjoy a pedicure, sit in your car at the park and nap, talk on a cell phone in the garage, ANYTHING you need to do to recollect your thoughts, and state of mind, and get ready to face the little ones renewed.
Sorry this quick word of encouragement and advice has turned into a book. I love you and I can say from experience before you know it, you no longer carry a diaper bag every where you go, greet your hubby in your babytalk voice when he gets home from work, or watch 25 mins of dora the explorer before you realize the kids are not even in the room. And when you catch a glimpse of someone you care about feeling exactly like this you too can say "It does get easier"
I think that I am too much like you. I really think I need medication I feel crazy too. What do you say girls trip?
I'm with Allison - I used to hate it when people would say it goes quick and gets easier - because day to day, it wasn't going quick!
BUT - ;) Now that all 3 are in school, I truly don't mind being a mom. I get a few hours to myself, and then I'm ready to face the little buggers again.
I only say that to give you a light at the end of the tunnel to look forward to.
But in the meantime, I can offer one flashlight to help through the dark tunnel - CHOCOLATE. ;) lol
Sorry you're having a rough time. I know it sucks to be the underappreciated, often overlooked, mommy of 3 little tyrants (no matter how cute they are). Wish I were there to take them for you for a little while. I'd even bring you a vegan chocolate milkshake. :)
Keep venting. It helps me to vent. :)
Love you, girlie! Hang in there.
I hear ya! The life of a busy Mom! Who would have thought this MOM thing would be so hard!
Leah...I totally had a day like this...okay I have a lot of days like this...but the other day in particular I said to Bryson some very similar stuff, "Just one day to take a shower without kids screaming outside the shower door and banging on it the whole time. One day of not having to have unwinnable arguments with a 3 year old. One day of NO WHINING! One day of not cleaning up the SAME messes 20 times each. One day where I don't feel like I'm going to pull my hair out from the constant noise and constant mess and constant whining and crying and constant ....etc, etc. JUST ONE DAY!" Seriously...we need a little vacation. :) Hang in there!
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