A Sister

The older I get, the more I need the people in my life; especially my family. I used to be very independent (or so I thought) but now I can't get through the day without a call from my husband. And if I don't see my siblings or my parents for a few weeks I start to get depressed and lonely. I have some amazing friends who make life away from my California home so much better, but they are still no replacement for my family.

There are two special gals in my family who make my life complete; who I love talking to all the time; who just understand me; and who I always feel good and comfortable around. Those gals are my sisters and I just don't know what I'd do without them.

Sarah is my little mother here in Utah. She takes good care of me. I really don't know what I'd do without her here. She brings me food all the time, just because. She watches my kids when I need a break. She cleans my house. She makes my problems seems small when she tells me about all the drama in her life:) I love her.

Emily is so easy to love. She always makes time to see me when I'm in California. She is such a fun auntie and plans activities with my kids when they visit. I admire her outlook on life. She is so easy to get along with and has always been so patient with her bossy and overbearing big sister.

After I had my daughter I realized she needed a sister too. And when I got pregnant with Owen I thought he was going to be the sister. When I found out Owen was a boy I thought I would have to have ten more boys before I got another girl. (There are a lot of boys in my husband's family. Jacobsons make boys.) Thank goodness I was wrong. I didn't have to get pregnant with ten boys first. We're having another girl and Lily will have a sister!

Some times things do work out.

The neighbor kids are driving me crazy. For the first time in my life I want to move to a cabin in the wilderness where my only neighbors are ferocious bears. I'm happy the neighbor kids are in school now, but school just isn't long enough. It should last until 9 pm. Then maybe the kids wouldn't be ringing my doorbell and pounding on my door every day during Owen's nap. That is all.

Sometimes they're really cute and funny and I have nothing to complain about. (Owen eating ice cream in the park.) Aaaand sometimes they're not cute and funny. (See post below.)

Sometimes I wonder why I am so stressed out... or why I look and feel like a zombie all the time. And then I have nights like tonight and I remember. It's only 3 am and I'm up for the day thanks to my psycho five year-old. Usually my kids will take turns waking me up through the night. Sometimes they wet the bed then wake up, other times it's a nightmare, and sometimes they're just hungry or thirsty. The nights that they wake up wet or are hungry/thirsty are the easy nights. I change them or get what they need and then they're back to bed. But it's nights like tonight that drive me completely crazy. Tonight Drew woke up at 2 am and for no apparent reason was furious at me. Furious. I must have done something horrible in my sleep (maybe I snored too loud?) because he's huffing and puffing, walking in and out of his room, turning the lights on and off in the house, slamming doors, crying, moving the furniture around, making messes, and (oh yeah) waking up the other children (and my poor husband who has worked 14 hour days for the past three days). Awesome, right? I can't get mad at him when he's like this because this only infuriates him more. And there's no reasoning with him. So... I wait it out. (And complain about it on my blog.) Sometimes he'll go back to bed on his own in an hour. Sometimes it takes longer. Either way the other kids are usually wide awake and I get to do our one to two hour bedtime routine all over again. I know other people's kids sleep through the night. I wonder how I got so lucky with these non-sleepers. Maybe I should get an Ambien prescription so I just sleep through all of it? Or maybe I should just lock the kids in their rooms at night and get some of those earplugs they use on airport runways? Well, either way it got me back on my blog. Hello world! It's me! Leah! I'm back on my blog! I'm still alive! (Sort of.) Someday when my kids stop acting so crazy I'll tell you more about my lovely life. It's actually not that bad. The kids are really funny during the day. Maybe it's all that non-sleeping that makes them hilarious? So... yeah. Thanks for listening. And now I've gotta go get Lily back to sleep... Hope you're all enjoying your night. XOXO Leah

Be Careful What You Wish For...

Because you just might get it!

A few weeks after my last sad post, Garrit, Owen and I spent the weekend in Northern California WITHOUT our other kids. YAY!

We had such a fun time and it was so nice to spend time together without our other two little monsters!

Here's a picture of my cute baby, husband, and I at the Oakland LDS Temple.



More pics to come :)

Dear Universe,

Just wanted to let you know, I am going crazy here.

If the cosmos would please align and give me one perfect day, I would really appreciate it.

I would like just one day off...

A day without being pregnant or nursing (it's been three-and-a-half years you know)...
A day without being yelled at, screamed at, and bullied by my three little terrorists...
A day without piles of laundry or dirty dishes...
A day without toys to put away and stuff to clean up and organize...
A day without poopy diapers...
A day without cooking...
A day without the kid's horrible t.v. shows...
A day without being stuck in my house...
A day without fighting to get the kids to bed for two hours every night...
A day without worrying about and taking care of everyone else's problems...
A day without feeling guilty about every imperfect thing I do...
A day without being frazzled...
A day of feeling beautiful and relaxed and loved.

I feel like the mommy-robot with steam coming out of her ears... and I need someone to pull the plug. (Quick! Pull it! Before I explode!)

Today after months of running around like a chicken with her head cut off, I flopped on the couch and didn't get up for hours. It felt soooo good. (And don't worry, the kids are still alive.)

Thanks, Universe. Thanks for listening, anyway.

XOXO

Leah

Something to Remember

The key to happiness in life is learning to look outward instead of inward; to wake up every morning and think, "How can I make someone's life easier today?" The happiest people I know are those who have learned to give with a happy heart, expecting nothing in return.