I Haven't Told You About Lucy Yet...

I haven't told you about Lucy yet.

I just haven't had time.

My life is moving so fast.

In the blink of an eye, I went from this:

To this:

Haha. But really, that's how I feel.

 

Anyway, her birth was amazing. She was my second water baby and her birth was (by far) my easiest birth. After my midwife broke my water, she literally fell out in less than three minutes.

 

Her birth was fast, and ever since she came into the world my life has been moving on fast forward. Every day feels like a marathon. (And every day feels like deja vu.)

 

I wish I could slow it all down. I wish I could enjoy it more. I wish I could pause the moments when she is sleeping soundly in my arms. Or when she is smiling at me with her twinkling eyes and her tongue sticking out. I wish I could just hold her and relax and forget all the millions of things I have to do (dishes, laundry, diapers, cleaning, packing, organizing, de-cluttering, spackling, priming, painting, bill paying, loan shopping, house hunting).

 

I love everything about her... her dark curly hair with the little bald spot in the back, her double chin, her teensy long fingers, her chubby rolley-polley thighs, her crooked little toes, and her wonderful baby smell. She smiles and coos at me while the other kids are simultaneously destroying my house, physically attacking me from every side, and verbally abusing me. (Aren't kids great?)

 

Anyway, Lucy is the breath of fresh air I need every day. 

 

I. love. her. so. much.

 

And I hope she never grows up. 

 

 

California, Here We Come

You would think I'd be excited about moving.

I mean, for the past thirteen years I've been gushing about how WONDERFUL California is. The weather is so nice... And my parents are there... And there's so much to do...

But right now I just feel numb.

It's so weird how every aspect of the move has fallen into place... the timing... the job... the housing market...everything.

I should feel really good about it all... It's totally meant to be...

And yet I'm still so stressed and insecure.

I'm worried that I'll hate it. I'm worried that we really can't afford it. I'm worried that it'll be too hard on all of us. I'm already a complete basket case trying to keep my four little ones alive. Will we survive the move???

I guess I have no choice... I can't stop it now.

It's too late. The ball is rolling.

I. just. have. to. jump.

Little Princess Spiderman Did It!

Owen is almost two now. I forgot how cute and completely insane two year old boys are. One minute he is ferociously roaring like a dinosaur, and the next minute he is cross dressing in Lily's sparkly princess gowns and hot pink fairy wings (complete with gaudy, poorly applied make-up).

He is talking up a storm and is obsessed with Spider-Man. At church on Sunday, his nursery school teacher sat all the children in a circle so they could  introduce themselves. When it was Owen's turn, the teacher asked him his name. Owen looked at the teacher and in his deepest, darkest, most sinister two year old voice said, "I'm Spider-Man!"

He keeps me on my toes by constantly unrolling the toilet paper, throwing things in the toilet, dumping cups of juice onto the floor, climbing on the table to forage after every meal, and attacking his baby sister when my back is turned. He is very bright and is learning a lot from his older siblings. For example, when I ask him questions like, "Owen, did you take my cell phone and hide it in the sugar bowl?" His answer is usually, "Uh, no, no, Mom. Drew did it!"

Lucky for him, he's really cute. I think I'll keep him for at least another year...

Should we stay or should we go.... to California?

Well, I had another baby! Yay!

You're probably thinking, "Didn't she just have a baby?"

Yes. Yes I did. Oh my gosh, I know. It's crazy. I have four kids. We are officially a big family!

Anyway, the day we brought baby Lucy home from the birthing center, our house became incredibly teeny and our lives became ridiculously busy. I started to think, "Why am I trying to raise four kids in this tiny house?" and my husband started to think, "Why is my wife trying to raise four kids without her mother? She needs help!"

So, we've been taking about moving our family to California. We certainly couldn't get a bigger house there... but the kids could play OUTSIDE which is just as good as having a bigger house in my book. And we would be closer to my parents.

The crazy thing is my husband REALLY, REALLY wants to move there. He says he's been thinking about it for a while and it feels right. And he wants to go NOW! (These are very unusual statements coming from a man who said he would never, EVER move outside of Utah.)

So now he is looking for jobs and I am looking for houses to rent (or buy).

But my question is... Are we crazy?

I mean, I know we are crazy but... are we crazy to want to move to one of the most expensive and liberal states in the nation? It seems like everyone my age left California to come to Utah for a better life. It's cheaper to live here, the job market is pretty good, and there are more conservative Mormon families.

Who knows if we'll really go. This might just be winter talking.

A Sister

The older I get, the more I need the people in my life; especially my family. I used to be very independent (or so I thought) but now I can't get through the day without a call from my husband. And if I don't see my siblings or my parents for a few weeks I start to get depressed and lonely. I have some amazing friends who make life away from my California home so much better, but they are still no replacement for my family.

There are two special gals in my family who make my life complete; who I love talking to all the time; who just understand me; and who I always feel good and comfortable around. Those gals are my sisters and I just don't know what I'd do without them.

Sarah is my little mother here in Utah. She takes good care of me. I really don't know what I'd do without her here. She brings me food all the time, just because. She watches my kids when I need a break. She cleans my house. She makes my problems seems small when she tells me about all the drama in her life:) I love her.

Emily is so easy to love. She always makes time to see me when I'm in California. She is such a fun auntie and plans activities with my kids when they visit. I admire her outlook on life. She is so easy to get along with and has always been so patient with her bossy and overbearing big sister.

After I had my daughter I realized she needed a sister too. And when I got pregnant with Owen I thought he was going to be the sister. When I found out Owen was a boy I thought I would have to have ten more boys before I got another girl. (There are a lot of boys in my husband's family. Jacobsons make boys.) Thank goodness I was wrong. I didn't have to get pregnant with ten boys first. We're having another girl and Lily will have a sister!

Some times things do work out.

The neighbor kids are driving me crazy. For the first time in my life I want to move to a cabin in the wilderness where my only neighbors are ferocious bears. I'm happy the neighbor kids are in school now, but school just isn't long enough. It should last until 9 pm. Then maybe the kids wouldn't be ringing my doorbell and pounding on my door every day during Owen's nap. That is all.

Sometimes they're really cute and funny and I have nothing to complain about. (Owen eating ice cream in the park.) Aaaand sometimes they're not cute and funny. (See post below.)